When people think of a Stoic, they often picture a quiet philosopher, deep in thought, reflecting on life and writing in private journals. This image suggests that Stoicism appeals mainly to introverts, but that’s not entirely true.
Both introverts and extroverts can embody Stoic principles, and Stoicism may even help people develop traits outside their natural tendencies—helping introverts be more outgoing and extroverts embrace quiet reflection.
Introverts vs. Extroverts in a Stoic Context
In simple terms, introverts tend to focus inward, preferring solitude and reflection, while extroverts seek stimulation from the outside world, thriving on social interaction and activity. As Susan Cain explains in Quiet:
Introverts focus on the meaning they make of the events swirling around them; extroverts plunge into the events themselves. Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone; extroverts need to recharge when they don’t socialize enough.
If you’re curious about where you fall on this spectrum, personality tests like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) can offer insights. While some criticize MBTI for oversimplifying personality, it can still be fun and revealing.
Stoicism and the Balance Between Introversion & Extroversion
People aren’t strictly one or the other. Even the ancient Stoics displayed a mix of both traits. Marcus Aurelius, for example, spent his mornings in deep introspection, journaling his thoughts. Yet, as Emperor and Consul, he had to engage with people constantly, leading and making decisions in public life.
This ability to shift between introversion and extroversion is valuable. Stoicism teaches us to be adaptable—embracing quiet reflection when needed, but also stepping forward when circumstances demand it.
How Far Can We Stretch Ourselves?
For those hesitant about stepping too far outside their comfort zone, research suggests there are limits to how much we can change. In Quiet, Susan Cain summarizes Dr. Carl Schwartz’s findings:
Free will can take us far, suggests Dr. Schwartz’s research, but it cannot carry us infinitely beyond our genetic limits. Bill Gates is never going to be Bill Clinton, no matter how he polishes his social skills, and Bill Clinton can never be Bill Gates, no matter how much time he spends alone with a computer. We might call this the “rubber band theory” of personality. We are like rubber bands at rest. We are elastic and can stretch ourselves, but only so much.
This suggests that while we can grow and develop new skills, we don’t need to force ourselves into extremes. Instead, we can stretch just enough to improve in meaningful ways without overwhelming ourselves.
Stoicism: Finding Strength in Both Traits
Using this idea, we could argue that Marcus Aurelius was naturally introverted—always able to retreat into himself:
At any moment you choose, you can retire within yourself. Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.
Meditations 4.3
However, Stoicism also values traits more commonly associated with extroverts, such as engaging with the world and taking action.
The following table highlights how both introverts and extroverts can benefit from Stoic principles:
| Introvert Trait | Extrovert Trait | How It Relates to Stoicism | Related Stoic Thought |
|---|---|---|---|
| Avoids attention | Enjoys attention | Stoicism teaches that happiness should come from within, not external validation. | “The essence of philosophy is that a man should live so that his happiness depends as little as possible from external causes.” – Epictetus |
| Listens more | Talks more | Stoics value thoughtful consideration before speaking. | “We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we speak.” – Zeno of Citium |
| Enjoys solitude | Enjoys socializing | Both reflection and helping others are important Stoic values. | “Men exist for the sake of one another. Teach them then or bear with them.” – Marcus Aurelius |
| Takes criticism personally | Dismisses criticism easily | Stoics believe we control our reactions to criticism. | “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” – Marcus Aurelius |
| Struggles with change | Adapts more easily | Stoicism teaches that change is inevitable and should be accepted. | “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” – Marcus Aurelius |
Applying Stoicism to Your Personality
This table shows opportunities for self-improvement within a Stoic framework. If you’re an introvert, you might work on embracing change more easily. If you’re an extrovert, you might see the value in listening more.
Of course, these traits are generalizations, and real growth takes time. But Stoicism isn’t just about quiet contemplation—it’s about practical self-awareness and action.
So, think of the rubber band: sometimes, it’s useful to stretch beyond your comfort zone, but you can always return to yourself.
When the time is right, be more introverted. Be more extroverted. Be more Stoic.
