In his book Reasons To Stay Alive, Matt Haig describes anxiety as a “full-time occupation of gale-force worry.” From personal experience, that feels accurate. Anxiety can consume entire days or weeks, leaving you regretting the time lost. You fear the future, then get stuck in the past.
People often say the answer is to “live in the moment,” but what does that actually mean?
If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.
Jim Carrey
The Stoics had a practical approach to this. They believed we should learn from the past but not dwell on it, and occasionally think about worst-case scenarios to prepare for them.
Of course, “just let go of the past” isn’t exactly helpful advice. But if we think about it differently, it can be useful. Haig puts it this way:
Accept. Don’t fight things, feel them. Tension is about opposition, relaxation is about letting go.
The Latin phrase Amor Fati takes this even further—not just accepting your fate, but embracing it.
Looking ahead, thinking about future problems can be easier than letting go of the past—sometimes too easy, especially for anxious minds. The Stoics called it premeditatio malorum—the premeditation of evils. Maybe scheduling time to think through future worries can help us feel like we’re handling them, rather than letting them take over at random moments.
But what about the present? How do we manage anxiety right now? The answer might be simple: take a step. Just one. Then another tomorrow. Each small step builds resilience and makes the next one easier.
What’s one step you can take today?
The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5.20
Walter Isaacson, in his biography of Leonardo da Vinci, describes the painter’s use of a technique called chiaroscuro:
From the Italian for light/dark, [chiaroscuro] is the use of contrasts of light and shadow… for achieving three-dimensional volume in a two-dimensional drawing or painting.
Life works the same way. The light is more meaningful because of the dark. The tough times build the good ones.
Apart from building resilience, what else helps quiet anxiety? For Haig, the key is slowing down:
Anxiety runs your mind at fast-forward rather than normal ‘play’ speed, so addressing that issue of mental ‘pace’ might not be easy. But it works. Anxiety takes away all the commas and full stops we need to make sense of ourselves.
Slowing down adds that punctuation back in. That might mean:
- Not watching/reading the news
- Meditation
- Reading fiction
- Doing Yoga
- ASMR (May seem strange if you’ve never heard of it, but give it a try!)
Finally, while resilience and self-care matter, so does seeking help. Interestingly, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is similar to Stoicism. It’s a therapy focused on logic, acceptance, and control—key ideas from the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who taught that:
- Our thoughts about events affect us more than the events themselves.
- We should focus only on what we can control.
CBT helps people distinguish between what’s within their control and what isn’t, making it easier to accept life as it is. If you’re interested, Donald Robertson’s The Philosophy of CBT explores how deeply CBT is rooted in Stoic thought.
I’ll leave the final word to Leonardo da Vinci. Like him, we have the ability—at least sometimes—to shape how we see the world:
If the painter wishes to see beauties that charm him, it lies within his power to create them; and if he wishes to see monstrosities that are frightful, buffoonish, or ridiculous, or pitiable, he can be lord thereof.
Leonardo da Vinci
