Would You Choose Water Over Wine?

I recently heard a song I hadn’t listened to in years.

I say “heard” instead of “listened” because this time, the song moved me in a way it never had before. It’s easy to listen to something without really processing it. Truly hearing it—taking it in and reflecting on it—is much harder.

The song was Drive by Incubus. It was released in 1999, a time when I was probably too young to fully grasp its meaning.

Now, when I hear Brandon Boyd’s lyrics, I immediately recognize a deep connection to Stoicism.

In the first verse and pre-chorus, Boyd expresses a desire to take control of his life rather than letting fear dictate his choices. As the Stoic philosopher Seneca put it, “We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality” (Letters 13.4). While fear can serve as a useful warning, it often exaggerates dangers that never come to pass.

If fear isn’t in control then we are, and Boyd begins to realise this:

[Verse 1]

Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear

And I, I can’t help but ask myself

How much I let the fear take the wheel and steer

[Pre-Chorus]

It’s driven me before

And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal

But lately I’m

Beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel

The chorus of Drive embodies Amor Fati—the Stoic idea of embracing fate. It’s a declaration of readiness to face whatever the future holds, without resistance, even with love.

[Chorus]

Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there

With open arms and open eyes, yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there

I’ll be there

Modern Stoics like weightlifter Jerzy Gregorek and author Tim Ferriss echo this mindset. Gregorek’s mantra is, “Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” Ferriss puts it this way: “What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”

Avoiding discomfort may seem like the easier path, but it rarely leads to the life we truly want. In the second verse, Boyd captures this struggle in a simple yet powerful metaphor: choosing between water and wine.

[Verse 2]

So if I decide to waiver my chance

To be one of the hive

Will I choose water over wine

And hold my own and drive?

By the second pre-chorus, Boyd is nearly convinced—he must take control of his life. Epictetus put it plainly: “No man is free who is not master of himself.” At this moment, Boyd is ready for that freedom.

[Pre-Chorus]

It’s driven me before

And it seems to be the way, that everyone else gets around

But lately I’m

Beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found

[Chorus]

Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there

With open arms and open eyes, yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there

I’ll be there

The song’s final bridge shifts the focus outward, asking the listener—hopefully the hearer—to reflect on their own choices. It’s also the perfect place for me to step back and turn the question over to you:

[Bridge]

Would you choose water over wine?

Hold the wheel and drive.